How do you keep your blonde secretary occupied?
Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to alphabetize them.
What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her head out the window? Refueling.
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
They're too hard to retrain.
What do you call nine blondes standing in a circle?
A dope ring.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
They can't get the bottle in the typewriter.
What's the definition of eternity?
Four blondes at a Four-way stop.
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
An air pocket.
What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A whine cellar.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
blonde went in to the hairdresser to get her haircut. She was wearing headphones. When the hairdresser asked her to remove them, she told them she couldn't. The hairdresser told her she would have to take them off in order to get a good haircut and she said, "I can't. The doctor said if I take them off I will die." So the hairdresser proceeded to cut her hair with the headphones on. In the process, she accidentally knocked them off and the lady fell over dead. They were startled and couldn't figure out why that would have happened. They picked up the headphones to listen and heard a voice saying, "Breathe in-breathe out, breathe in-breathe out..."
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut >up...you're next!"
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! they spelled MACYS wrong!"
>>
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
And the Webite That Started It All
