True Story from Houston Medical Center
A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his Hoo hoo.
According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the rin ...
A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed ...
Question 1
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommen ...
A Louisiana State Trooper pulled a car over on US165 about 2 miles south of the Louisiana/Arkansas State line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a magici ...
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
...
St Louis Mo.
A seven-year old boy was at the center of a St Louis County court room drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.
...
Satan: 'Why so glum?'
Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'
Satan: ...
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....
10. A below par performance Is considered damn good.
9. You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a c ...
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself ...
Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.
When ...
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went h ...
1. Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink t ...
Imagine, if you will, your computer suddenly starts making a weird noise....a noise you've never heard any computer make.
While you can't quite figure out what the noise is, you describe it as ...
As the airliner pushed back from the gate, the flight attendant gave the passengers the usual information regarding seat belts etc. Finally, she said "Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your ca ...
These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line.
A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. -Tim Allen
Never date a woman whose father calls her "Princess." Chances are she believes it. - Anonymous
Co ...
A woman phones up her husband at work for a chat...
The husband answers and says, "I'm sorry dear, but I'm up to my neck in work today."
The wife replies, "But I've got some good news and s ...
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer and is certain that he has a better education. He decid ...
A friend of mine works at a waste treatment plant and was present during a visit from the Department of Natural Resources.
During the visit she was asked if any endangered species live around th ...
1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
2. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anythi ...
The US Navy will be implementing a new catch and release program in its war on terrorism. This new program targets smaller terrorist cells and fringe groups for the purposes of intelligence gatheri ...
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-o ...
This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So, he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally ...
Gentlemen,
I offer you a story that reveals the deepest mystery known to man. Learn it, know it and live it...
Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring ...
Dear Consumers:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS TENNESSEE EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of TENNESSEE.
If you have one of thes ...
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and ...
This story happened about a month ago in a little town in Mexico, and even when it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale it's real.
This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very da ...
Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions Author Unknown
When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard.
My kids see flowers for Mom and ...
Some things you keep.
Like good teeth.
Warm coats.
Bald husbands.
They're good for you, reliable and practical and so sublime that to throw them away would make the garbage man a th ...
Looking back, it's hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have...
As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day ...
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN ...