"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY:"
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE:"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED:"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED:"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY:"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL:"
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED:"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
"APPLY IN PERSON:"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE:"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE:"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do.
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"
I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE:"
I pilfer office supplies.
"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:"
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:"
I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'M PERSONABLE:"
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:"
I carry a Day-Timer.
"I AM ADAPTABLE:"
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I AM ON THE GO:"
I'm never at my desk.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED:"
The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.
And the Webite That Started It All
