PG

Beer Quotes

"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer."
* Frank Zappa

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
* Ernest Hemmingway

"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
* Winston Churchill

"He was a wise man who invented beer."
* Plato

"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
* Catherine Zandonella

"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
* W.C. Fields

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink."
* Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
* Churchill's reply

"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
* Oscar Wilde

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
* Henny Youngman

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
* Benjamin Franklin

"If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out of your nose."
* "Deep Thoughts," by Jack Handy

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
* Dave Barry

"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind."
* Humphrey Bogart

"People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just ike to pee a lot."
* Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
* Homer Simpson

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
* Dave Barry

"I drink to make other people interesting."
* George Jean Nathan

"They who drink beer will think beer."
* Washington Irving

"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
* Ernest Hemingway ("For Whom the Bell Tolls")

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
* Dean Martin

"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me-so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
* Homer Simpson