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Signs of the Times

On the side of a firewood delivery truck: "Fulfilling all your burning desires!"

In a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."

On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

Outside a Hotel: "Help Wanted. We need inn-experienced people."

At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin, Bach in a minuet."

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Beauty Salon: "Dye now!"

On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."

On a Deli Store window in Leavenworth, WA.: "We make Sandwiches of the wurst kind."