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Top Ten Reasons To Be Different Nationalities

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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay
2. You are yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
8. You can allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a woman president without electing her
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it
3. You can call Budweiser beer
4. You can be a crook and still be president
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
7. You can invent a new public holiday every year
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth when you're not at all

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah
2. Warm beer
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union Jack underpants
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power
8. You get to bathe once a week-whether you need to or not
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh Or Scottish

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. You have an in-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes
2. You don't have to be embarrassed to wear fur
3. No need to worry about tax returns
4. Glorious military history. Well, till about 400 AD.
5. You can wear sunglasses indoors
6. Political stability
7. Flexible working hours
8. Live near the Pope
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair
10. You can have your country run by Sicilian murderers

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Your glorious history of killing South American tribes
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles
9. Gibraltar
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:
1.
2.
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5.
6.
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8.
9.
10.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN:
1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH:
1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?!?!?!?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH:
1. Guinness
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road
4. Pubs never close
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on
6. No one can ever remember the night before
7. You can kill people you don't agree with
8. Stew
9. More Guinness
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN:
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capit

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Submitted on: 20 July 1998 by The Big M
Joke ID: 530

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