PG

Stupid Quotes

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
-George Bush, US President

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them."
-George Bush, US President

"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand."
-Duffy Daugherty , football coach and sports analyst

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
-Lee Iacocca

"Please provide the date of your death."
-from an IRS letter

"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
-Richard Nixon, US President

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
-Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony

"We are sorry to announce that Mr Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover."
-Parish Magazine

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
-Bill Peterson, football coach

"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is a --it is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
-Dan Quayle, US VP

"Be sure and put some of those neutrons on it."
-Mike Smith, Baseball pitcher, ordering a salad at a restaurant

"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
-Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
-Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel

"I've read about foreign policy and studied -- I know the number of continents."
-George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-Dan Quayle

"We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur."
-Dan Quayle

"Potatoe"
-Dan Quayle

"The road of good intentions is paved with Hell."
-Spencer Ante

"If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
-Anon

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
-Dan Quayle

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-Dan Quayle

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
-Keppel Enderbery

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
-Dan Quayle

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people."
-Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."
-Dan Quayle

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
-Samual Goldwyn

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago..."
-Dan Quayle

"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd

"The people in the Navy look on motherhood as being compatible with being a
woman."
-Rear Admiral James R. Hogg

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
-Dan Quayle

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
-Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that
Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a det