PG

Internet Signatures

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
1. I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
2. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
3. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
4. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
5. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
6. He who laughs last thinks slowest!
7. Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
8. "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
9. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
10. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
11. There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
12. I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
13. Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
14. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now .
15. Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
16. I won't rise to the occassion, but I'll slide over to it.
17. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
18. Assassins do it from behind.
19. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
20. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
21. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
22. Liberalism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy, and rich.
23. Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
24. I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
25. Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
26. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
27. The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
28. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
29. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
30. When there's a will, I want to be in it.
31. Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
32. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
33. I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
34. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
35. All generalizations are false, including this one.
36. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
37. "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
38. C:BELFRY is where I keep my .BAT files.
39. ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
40. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
41. Today's subliminal thought is: '.... now touch these wires to your tongue!
42. According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
43. It's redundant! It's redundant! -R. E. Dundant
44. Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
45. To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
46. If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
47. CCITT - Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today
48. This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.