What does DIANA stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident!
What did Princess Diana die of?
Car-pole-tunnel syndrome.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and a Volvo?
Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo!
What did the Queen say when she heard Princess Diana died in a car wreck?
'Was Fergie with her?'
Prince Charles was out early the other day walking the dog. When a passer-by said "Morning," Charles said, "No, just walking the dog."
What's the Queen giving Fergie for Christmas?
A trip to Paris, dinner at the Ritz, and a chauffeur-driven Mercedes.
What did Princess Di say to Dodi after he gave her the Ring?
'Aren't we moving a bit too fast?'
Why did Elton John sing at the funeral?
He's the only queen who cares.
By the way, Elton John is now set to make a tribute record for Mother Teresa...
'Sandals in the Bin'
What was the last thing Di said to Dodi?
'These paparazzi are driving me up a wall'
What does Diana's bumper sticker say?
'My other car's a decoy.'
What is the difference between leeches and the paparazzi?
Leeches fall off after you die.
What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?
Zip-a-dee Dodi, Zip-a-dee Di
Please Drive Safely!!