Mammograms!
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram. But, by taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding your exam to do the following exercises, you can prepare for the test in your own home.
Exercise One: pen your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have a strong friend slam the door shut as hard as possible, then lean on the door to keep it closed. Hold that position for 10 seconds. Don't breathe. Repeat on other side.
Exercise Two: Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement
floor is perfectly chilled. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Hold that position for 10 seconds. Don't breathe. Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
Exercise Three: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist, invite a stranger preferably a large, humorless woman named Helga to press the bookends against the sides of your breast and smash them together as hard as possible. Hold that position for 10 seconds. Don't breathe. Repeat on other side.
Now make an appointment with Helga to meet next year to do it again. Congratulations, you are now properly prepared for your mammogram.
OH, Guy's. You really do NOT know how lucky you are. READ ON.
And the Webite That Started It All
