PG

Female One-Liners

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. --- Erica Jong

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. --- Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. --- Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. --- Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. --- Roseanne

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT? --- Wendy Liebman

I think-therefore I'm single. --- Lizz Winstead

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. --- Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --- Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman. --- Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. --- Gloria Steinem

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. --- Gloria Steinem

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. --- Katharine Hepburn

Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. --- Baroness Edith Summerskill

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? --- Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. --- Zsa Zsa Gabor