PG

Women's English

"Yes." = No
"No." = Yes
"Maybe." = No
"I'm sorry." = You'll be sorry
"We need." = I want
"It's your decision." = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what you want." = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk." = I need to complain.
"Sure go ahead." = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset." = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"You're so manly." = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
"You're certainly attentive tonight." = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights." = I have flabby thighs.
"This kitchen is so inconvenient." = I want a new house.
"I want new curtains." = ...and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
"Hang the picture there." = NO, I mean hang it there!
"I heard a noise." = I noticed you were almost asleep.
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like.
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.
"Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
"I'm not yelling!" = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important.
"I'll be ready in a minute." = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
"Are you listening to me!?" = Too late, you're dead.