Thought of the day..... Trust the computer industry to shorten "Year 2000" to Y2K. It was this kind of thinking that caused the problem in the first place.
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While in a pub in England, a condom machine in the men's room had this on the ad: "Manufactured to strict British standards." Underneath, someone had scratched, "So was the Titanic."
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A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes,I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
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When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas." "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?" "At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."
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Doctor: "I'm afraid I don't like the way your wife looks."
Husband: "Hey I don't either Doc, but she's always been a good mother to our kids."
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What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A branch manager
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The Judge said to the defendant, "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again." "Your Honor," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn't listen."
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The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact,yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."
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Finish Your Beer - There Are Sober People In China!
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Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
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Never argue with an idiot: They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
